full honesty

o.k. around halloween of 2008 i had started dating a 23 year old women, that left her husband because he liked to get beat on her, and mentally abuse her. now, around the begaining of october 2008 i was informed that this woman had the hots for me. so we ended up going out on a halloween party date. now, other than a good time i had no premeditations of it going anywhere. well slowly but surely we both fell in love with each other. in the begaining i had no clue, but she turned out to be my dream girl. she also has two beatiful sons from her marrige. i also slowly fell deeply in love with them, and them with me. well in june we found out that she was pregnant with my baby. which was all fine with me because i knew she was the woman that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with. we had also planned on getting married in october 2009. now this is where the story turns. I am a 27 year old man that has two children with two different women previous to this relationship. my second childs mother is really really crazy, and i havent been in here life much at all. now the problem is that i hadent talked about it too much with my new girlfriend. i had never tried to be dishonest in any way,shape or form to this woman. so the most we had talk about my second child was that i possibly had a daughter, but i wasent sure if it was mine. our conversation was really a short one time thing that i personally never brought up again. the reason i thing i never really brought it up was because i had a hard time couping with the reality of it my self. well in early september my girlfriend was cleaning up our room and found child support paper work on this child. and in her shoes it seems as though i have been hiding/lying about this for the past year of our relationship. which in her shoes i could totally understand that. but i really wasent trying to be dishonest to her. so she ended up breaking up with me because of this. and in her eyes i had her and her sons fall in love with me(and her parents), got her pregnant and was playing a part and being dishonest with everyone this whole time. no truthfully i totally wasent trying to seem this untruthful. so its been 3 months or so and we have not been together. i love have and have family so so much with all my heart, and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with them. i dont know how to attempt to try patching things up what so ever, because in her shoe i do look like a dishonest asshole. i need an opinion on a possible way to fix this. there has not been one day in the last 3 months that i havent cried, and made myself sick over how i made our perfect relationship turn out like this for her and i. i just want to fix it if there is a chance, and get back to where we were. also our child is do in Febuary and how it is for us right now just doesent feel right. please help me if you can. please

well in these kinds of situation this best thing to do is put all your cards in the table and shoow her your hand, tell her everythiing about you make her see that you weren't trying to hide things you just didn't know how to bring it up because of her past experienced and yours. let her know what you just told me that in the last 3 months you haven't stop thinking about her. she is obviously confused that about this she can't process why you would hide something like that from her, but the thing is its not easy bringing something like that up in conversation, she felt betrayed by you for not letting her know something like this, trust is something thats hard to gain and easily broken, i'm not telling you my advice is going to patch it all up between you and her but by making your self vulnerable your showing her that you trust her. Stop hiding how you feel for her and tell her, and tell her everything you been unintentionally hiding from her. if that doesn't work then find a way for me, you and her to talk to i'm sure i could be of more help that way to you guys if i hear her point of view on all this, but thats only as a last resort try everything you can before i need to help you.

first you need to decide do you care more bc your life is now a mess with out her or is it that it hurts you to see her in pain. dont try and explain that you werent trying to hide anything from her bc even if you were not woman and men think differntly. where a woman would think you were being sneaky and a man would think you were keeping it simple. so if you can go to her make sure you tell her how much it hurts to see her hurt. Put your heart on the line at the risk of being hurt more. Its like this you have to love like you have never been hurt before and dance like no one is looking. Keep going back if she doesnt except what you have to say woman like men who pursue them not like a stalker.

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