Category Archives: Uncategorized

Importance of Rest

Hey you!

Yeah, you! The one reading this on your phone with a coffee in the other hand running to your next pressing engagement.

Slow down.

Slow down so life can catch up.

Do you have any idea what the daily bustle may be doing to you? Aside from potential health issues, it could also be hindering you from being your best and realizing your true potential.

Arrange a day of “nothing planned,” letting your natural rhythm set the pace.

Sleep when you’re tired.

Eat when you’re hungry.

Let the dreamer in you awake from the drowsy sleep of disregard. With pen in hand, be attentive and hear what it has to offer. The chaos of life can be a rather hostile environment for dreams and ideas.

While hard work is often necessary to achieve success, quiet time is also necessary to ponder your goals and evaluate what you are doing to achieve these goals. Maybe you want to be the best parent for your kids, maybe you want to start a stay-at-home business or maybe you already have one, and you’re wondering how to take it to the next level.

Mired in reality, living within our clocks and calendars, passion and dreams can seem frivolous. But without our dreams, life becomes stagnant and mundane. Schedule an extremely overdue “dream vacation” or at least embark on a “dream day”.

Time resting is time well spent.

Babies Don’t Need Coaching (Nor Therapy)

We live in a very busy world. The hustle and bustle of life can be unnerving.

I had a potential client come in to discuss coaching a little while ago. He was in a constant state of anger and wanted life to shift away from the anger. Nothing traditional had worked to date.  Even though this client had a very successful business, an amazing family, traveled the world – happiness was nowhere to be found. We agreed to work together.

Part of my process is to have the client journal daily. Through this client’s journaling a pattern emerged. (In my experience, usually a few incidents from childhood occur and out of the story each person creates from those incidents, a repeating pattern occurs in their life.) This client was no different.

When this pattern emerges through their writing, we begin to see the old battle wound. Through the work I do with awareness and the impact, the wound can be healed.  Once this wound is healed, the experience of life is shifted.  Their life returns to a space of joy and love.  Yes, life still comes at them, but they now have awareness of how the mind works.  They understand.  Having them understand their created stories and how to shift them, even in the face of life.

In one of our more interesting sessions I asked – Why don’t babies need therapy?  “That is the silliest question I have ever heard” the client snapped back.  Then a smile emerged.   The client understood .

A baby’s mind is clear.  It has yet to be filled with the thoughts and emotions of life.   The wounds have not been inflicted yet.  As such, a baby expresses everything that is there, and once expressed the baby moves on to another thought.  They are present.

Babies don’t need therapy because they are pure love, simply pure potential.  As the center of the Universe, they just get to be love.

And as I worked with the client, we began to see glimmers of this love.  As the drama and trauma of life cleared, the client was able to return to the original state – love.

And from a place of love – the experience of life shifted.  And for the first time, the client was able to really enjoy life.  The next vacation taken was fully enjoyed as a family.

I am a coach – trained and certified in what I do.  My mastery is in thought awareness and human potential.  My greatest joy is working with people such that their experience of life shifts. Their life is still filled with ‘life,’ yet who they are in that life has shifted.

This week, become aware of your thoughts.  Just ‘see’ them. Notice which thoughts you give power to.  Write the thought down.  Ponder why you give this thought your power.

And create an incredible week.

Contributed by Executive, Life and Spirituality Coach, Jim Pehkonen

Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day!

If you are one of the many people who love Valentine’s day, turn away now. This post is for the haters.

Hey haters.

How’s it going?

Whether you hate Valentine’s day because you’re single and feel like all the happy couples are rubbing their happiness in your face today, or because you’re in a relationship and feel pressure to make today live up to the impossible standards of your significant other, the emotion is the same. Today stresses you out.

You have probably uttered the words, “it’s just a Hallmark holiday” more than once in the last week or so and you’re probably just looking forward to tomorrow.

But what is it about Valentine’s day that stirs up so much negative emotion? It’s supposed to be the celebration of love- what could be more positive than that?

Well, yes love is positive, but it’s also powerful. It’s kinda like the Ring in ‘Lord of the Rings’- those who don’t have it, want it. And those who have it, don’t always know what to do with it.

Instead of making everyone feel special, Valentine’s Day can bring out a sense of competitiveness and jealousy. It starts in elementary school when valentines are distributed to classmates- people feel bad when their friend gets more than they do. It continues through high school when popularity is everything, and into adulthood when most people tend to be married or in long-term relationships. Whether you’re single, or in an unhappy relationship, Valentine’s day can make you feel stigmatized. It always seems like everybody else is more loved, better off and happier than you. And you feel pathetic in comparison.

So, how do you fix that? Well, the secret to feeling loved is to stop caring.

Yep.

Stop caring what other people think so much… because honestly, most people are too busy worrying about what other people think of them to spend time judging you. Think about that for a minute.

With all that freedom from caring what other people think, just think of everything you’ll now have time to focus on! Focus on what makes you happy, focus on making other people happy, and focus on being happy for other people.

It’s amazing how much love you’ll start to feel when you just stop caring.

 

The Power of Pain and Addiction

By the time you read this, Philip Seymour Hoffman will be buried, yet not forgotten. He was a brilliant actor who lived his passion by playing complex characters in exceptional, brilliant ways… and unfortunately died of a drug overdose. He joins Heath Ledger, Chris Farley, John Belushi and a long list of people who are loved and beloved, yet are internally in so much pain and suffering that the only answer is drugs, and the demon of addiction.

At the core of addiction are thoughts – thoughts with emotions that we interpret to mean something. Out of the meaning we make, we develop coping strategies to numb the pain, to seek relief, to find quiet from the internal noise, and to momentarily escape the world we have created.

For the last four years I have been working in recovery centers, doing workshops to help people break their addiction to chemicals like heroin, cocaine, alcohol, and meth. I assist them in their journey to self-acceptance, self-love, and finding themselves as they emerge from the pain of addiction. To do that, they often have to face the “demon” and take their power back. I have sat in front of more than 5,000 people as they get clean and create meaning in life again. The space of healing created is unique and powerful.

According to one of the articles written about Philip Seymour Hoffman, 100 people die every day from drug overdose, and it takes the death of a public figure to shine the light on a dark problem in our society. Heroin may have been the vehicle by which he was dealing with his pain, but the core issue is what he empowered that lead him to drugs in the first place: thoughts.

So where is the solution? It is through healing. Those who are able to identify and heal the places in their mind where unhealthy thoughts are generated create the ability to step into the potential to live without drugs. When they become aware of the stories they have created and see the roots of their pain, their perspective shifts. They learn to powerfully develop mindsets and take the power back from the dark monsters in their head.

As they do this, they step back into their natural space of self-acceptance and self-love. Our experiences in life take us out of that state – and often into a dark space. This does not have to be the place anyone lives; it can be a space to visit. With some work (often hard work), you can return to your natural state: peace, love, and presence.

This week, become aware of where your pain lives: it lives in thought. Just see it there. It sits right next to the joyful thoughts. Remember, you are always one thought away from well-being. The art is in the awareness; through this awareness, you can powerfully choose.

THANKS for who you are!

Contributed by Executive, Life and Spirituality Coach, Jim Pehkonen

Top 10 Reasons To Hire A Life Coach

Hey, what are you up to right now? Browsing the web? Looking for advice on stuff? S’cool. Know what would be an even more productive use of your time? Working with a life coach.

Yep. Stop messing around on the computer and hire one (right after you read this list on the computer, naturally).

Top 10 Reasons You Should Hire A Life Coach Right Now

10. Because your New Years Resolution lasted til January 2.

9. Because the next time you’re stuck indoors thanks to a Polar Vortex, you’d like to burn firewood instead of bills.

8. Because life coaching works. Simple as that.

7. Because there’s an inverse correlation between your expanding waistline and your thinning financial portfolio, and you’d like to reverse that.

6. Because you hate those people who love Mondays… but only because you secretly, really, madly, truly wish you were one of them.

5. Because that movie “Her” – where the guy dates his computer- is eerily similar to the main relationship in your own life.

4. Because you know “better” exists.

3. Because you’re doing pretty well… but your arch nemesis is doing amazingly well and you need an edge to remain competitive.

2. Because it’s that time of year when people make changes that will catapult them to new heights over the next 12 months, and you don’t want to be left in the dust again like last year.

1. Because you deserve it.

Life Coaches specialize in a variety of niches. You’re bound to find one that can take you to the next level of your career, personal life, financial freedom, health goals, etc.

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“You have to poke the poop”

Adviser, Ally, Consultant, Motivator, Mentor… There are many ways Life Coaches have been described- or may even describe themselves- but I think Martha Beck says it best when she refers to herself as a “Wayfinder.”

Beck was recently featured in the New York Times article, The Merchant of Just Be Happy as she conducted one of her first all-male coaching retreats on her California ranch.

Up until recently, life coaching was a business that catered to women. The concept of “being happy” is ingrained in young women, but men? They’re taught to “do well”. Many times this means sacrificing their own happiness and well being for the good of their paycheck.

Beck is working to change that.

Of course coaching is not new to men. From sports teams to business coaches, men are certainly accustomed to this sort of rapport. But happiness coaching? This is new. And it’s not going away.

Beck’s clients are not layabouts. She does not work with men who float from one dead end job to the next wondering why they’re not fulfilled. Her clients are CEOs, technology wizards, even GE seeks her guidance.

Her motto is do what makes you happy, and the money will follow. When you stress about money, the money doesn’t come. But when you focus your energy in positive ways, the money will always be there when you need it. This can be hard notion for many success-driven people to accept on the surface. But on this most recent retreat, Beck’s clients were in the woods, tracking bear scat, when they all agreed they found fresh scat based on it’s appearance. It wasn’t until one man poked it with a stick that they realized it was old and hard. The stick broke.

Their accepted beliefs, they learned, were crap.

“You have to poke the poop,” said Beck, to imply that you shouldn’t just accept the limits of your current way of thinking. You have to test it.

Beck is a living embodiment of this theory. She set out to help people find their way in the mid 90s, before it was called Life Coaching, and she has made millions along the way.

As of last year, Life Coaching has become a $2 billion business. For an industry that isn’t even regulated yet, many of it’s practitioners have done quite well for themselves. What was once dismissed as a sham of a profession is now gaining major credibility one happiness-seeking CEO at a time.

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