This tip brought to you by our Dad Guru John Valadez
on Aug 27, 2009
If you're placing a child in a timeout over three or four times a day consider addressing behavior in a different way. Have your child sit down in a quiet place in the room and kneel down to their eye level. This brings a feeling of equality, respect and seriousness. You might even see your child sit up straight or pay close attention – that’s good. If your child hasn’t sat up straight then ask them too and do not continue until they do. It’s very important they understand the seriousness of the conversation.
Ask them do they know why they were in time out to begin with, even if you asked them before.
Ensure they say why. Do not move on until they understand. After they acknowledge their wrong doing then ask them why. I’m sure you’ll get a plethora of excuses; I know I have some real side-splitters. If they know why, or you had to explain why; ask them if they like being in timeout and usually children will say no. If by chance they say yes, and your children will get that “age”; simply tell them, “O.k. if you continue this behavior, you will continue to go in timeout; that is your choice”. After that they usually wise up; but if they don’t, we have to begin taking other privileges away – sports, video games or anything they really value.
After they say “no” to losing some kind of privilege explain to them about the choices they made that ended in a timeout. At the end ask if they feel they made a good choice. You’ll usually get a no. Explaining choices to our children teaches them self-discipline, independence and self-reliance; all valuable assets as they grow into our world, and eventually, their choices will lead to great accomplishments.
