This tip brought to you by our Dad Guru John Valadez
on Oct 03, 2009
I believe entirely that we are taught daily lessons. Yesterday I received a lesson and it took me more than a few minutes to realize what it was about. We went grocery shopping last night after I picked up my oldest daughter from school. Everyone who reads this blog knows I’m a vegetarian and my children eat organic food, so, naturally, we went to Whole Foods for our shopping needs. Whenever we go grocery shopping around a meal time we eat at Whole Foods, they have this nice selection of organic and vegan food for us to chomp down during a hectic shopping trip. I ate the General Tso Tofu with vegetable fried rice – it was amazing.
When we sat down, in our booth, there was an older couple sitting and conversing behind us. The booths are all connecting in Whole Foods; and it’s an important fact to remember for the story. My six year old daughter swings her feet, while sitting, when she is happy; and yesterday she had a wonderful day at school and she was excited about her opportunity to go shopping and push around the little children’s cart they have at the grocery store - she’s adorable.
After paying for our food and parking ours carts we settled into the booth for a healthy meal before loading up our carriages. My six-year old sat on the opposite side of the booth and shared her side with the couple behind us. She began swinging her feet and, in turn, bumping her feet up against the wooden base of the booth making a thumping sound ever time her tiny size one shoe brushed against it.
Within fifteen seconds of her playful shoe bumping the fifty-something year-old gentleman behind us turned to my six-year old daughter and abruptly said, “Excuse me, could you please stop hitting the booth with your feet?” She immediately looked at me, somewhat confused and somewhat shocked, I smiled and asked her to please stop. The gentleman then turned to me with an embittered smug look on his face and began surveying our family in seemingly disgust. I smiled, immediately apologized and replied, “She’ll stop.” He nodded curtly and turned around to continue his conversation.
I smiled at my shattered daughter and told her it was alright and that we are in a public place and everyone has a right to be comfortable. After a few seconds of chomping on her honey dew she was smiling and having fun again, oblivious to the people behind us. I, on the hand, pondered what had happened and was a little appalled at a complete older stranger addressing my six-year old daughter in public.
I thought, how dare this man address my child when I’m sitting a foot from her?
On the other hand addressing my daughter is a good thing, we are all individuals and confrontation is a part of growing up as an individual; I can’t be there in her life forever.
I continued to eat and the more I thought about the incident the more excuses for her behavior went through my mind: she wasn’t that loud, she only hit the booth a few times, and she’s just a little girl. Then my Ego chimed in with its comments: how dare he correct her, how dare he correct my child, and who does he think he is, and who wears black socks with sneakers? He was wearing black socks with sneakers though.
Then a soothing calm came over me. I remembered a quote from the bible, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” This gentleman was just being himself, black socks with sneakers and all, and I was wasting time contemplating why he was being himself – a useless and tireless practice. I put the incident out of my mind.
Coincidentally, as we continued to eat the couples conversation grew louder and louder to a point I almost joined in to offer advice. The level of their conversation was quite disturbing and annoying, but I resisted my ego. We all enjoyed the rest of our Friday night meal, gathered our carts and playfully shopped the night away.
Have a great day and God Bless.
