Timeout vs. Spanking

This tip brought to you by our Dad Guru John Valadez on Feb 25, 2010

When a parent yells “go to your room” after their child went in the refrigerator and tried to get additional snack or spanked their child for grabbing and starting to eat a piece of fruit in the grocery store or told their child over and over again notto make a mess! What message is the parent sending?

After all these common occurrences are instinctual: if a child is still hungry after having a snack they will go and eat more without your permission; grabbing an apple in the store and eating it is an easy decision for a hungry child; repeatedly telling a child not to make a mess while eating is a battle fought every day. Carl Jung writes as referencing a child experiences no “inner tension induced by a problem.” In other words, a child does not yet understand the consequences of their actions.

Consequences are taught by parents.

The consequences taught by parents will have a direct effect on a child’s psyche. The consequence has a direct effect on how children will deal with future problems or obstacles. If the consequence is violent like spanking, the child will develop a tendency to use violence when presented with a problem or obstacle. If the consequence is a “timeout” to reflect on their unwanted behavior, then the child will learn to reason when presented with an obstacle.

The choice is yours, spanking or timeout?