How to Correct a Child's Behavior

This tip brought to you by our Dad Guru John Valadez on Mar 10, 2010

Children are people. Every person wants to be praised, but I’m not writing about insincere praise. I’m talking about honest and sincere appreciation. When a child commits an unwanted behavior follow these six steps taken from Dale Carnegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people” and the behavior will change:

1. Begin with honest and sincere appreciation
2. Let the other person save face
3. Praise every moment
4. Give them a fine reputation to live up to
5. Encourage them by making their faults easy to correct
6. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest

I’ll point out the entire process in situation I had with my oldest child. My oldest child took candy from a shelf in a grocery store and on our way out she said, “Daddy look what I have.”

I immediately asked her where she found the candy and she told me in the checkout line. We went back and I told the cashier I forgot to pay for the candy (2. Let the other person save face). I didn’t yell or scream or told the cashier my kid palmed the candy from the store. I just paid and went on my way. When we got in the car I thanked her for letting me know what she did (1. Begin with honest and sincere appreciation). I proceeded to tell her she is a good girl (3. Praise every moment) and I understand why she wanted the candy, but it was wrong to just take something from the store without paying. Again, I told her she was a good girl and she behaved very well in the store (Give them a fine reputation to live up to). She smiled. I went on to say, next time, ask me before taking anything from the store and I will let her know if it is alright to purchase her a treat (6. Make the other person happy about doing what you suggest). She said, “Ok”. After she agreed I said,” That’s easy enough you can do that for Daddy, can’t you?”(5. Encourage them by making their faults easy to correct). She said yes.
She never took another piece of candy without first asking from that day forward. Follow those easy steps and correcting behavior will be easy on you and your child.