Peter Post Celebrity Guru

Peter Post, great-grandson of Emily Post, is the author of the New York Times bestseller Essential Manners for Men and the coauthor, with Peggy Post, of The Etiquette Advantage in Business. Since 2004, Peter has authored The Boston Sunday Globe's weekly question and answer business etiquette advice column, “Etiquette at Work.” The column is distributed by the New York Times Syndicate. A director of the Emily Post Institute and the creator of the Institute's Business Etiquette Seminar Series, Peter conducts hundreds of seminars, speeches, and media interviews each year. His media appearances include Weekend Today, CBS Sunday Morning, The Early Show, Dateline NBC, and more.

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Keep in Touch with Your Network

The first rule of networking is to do it all the time, not just while job-hunting. Keeping in touch, as well as helping out people on your networking list whenever possible, ensures that when you actually do need help finding a job, you can easily call in your chits.

Following are some ways to stay in touch with people in your network, even when you’re not actively looking for work. (Note: Passing along the lame joke that was forwarded to you on e-mail by our ex-college roommate isn’t one of them.)

• Meet for a bite to eat
• Invite to a party
• Invite to a baseball game or a play when you have an extra ticket
• Mail an article that would be helpful or interesting
• Send holiday, birthday, congratulatory, and get-well cards when appropriate
• Share information about job openings

Write Thank-You’s, Even for a Conversation

Word process or e-mail a thank-you note to everyone who has offered help during your job search—in any way. If, for example, you chat with someone at a cocktail party who says she thinks she’ll mention you to her boss, your note will serve as a reminder. Just remember never to assume the favor has already been performed.

Notes like this can set the stage for things to come:

Dear Jane,
I enjoyed meeting you at Sharon Stewart’s party last weekend—especially since I never dreamed of crossing paths with a Braves fan in Pittsburgh. OF course, I also really appreciate your offer to mention me to your boss. Your company sounds like the kind of place I’d be interested in knowing more about. Thanks!
Sincerely,
[Signature]
Chris Cavanaugh

Keep a list of the people who have helped you (or even expressed interest in your job search) so that as soon as you’re hired you can deliver the good news to all. A note of thanks also lets you say, “Please call on me if I can help you in any way”—an obligation for the nice-guy networker.

What to Leave Out of Your Résumé

As important as knowing what to put in your résumé is knowing what to leave out. Just as you want your writing to be concise, the style and content of your résumé should also follow the classic dictum “less is more.”

• The word “résumé.” Putting this at the top of the page is not only unnecessary, but takes up precious space. The same applies to the line “References available upon request,” which is generally understood.
• References. Don’t add these to the résumé (or cover letter) itself. List them on a separate page and hold on to it until references are requested.
• A photo. Even if you’re drop-dead gorgeous, you want to be hired for your mind, experience, and accomplishments—not your looks.
• Your GPA? At some point, usually five years after your graduation, leave off your college accomplishments and your GPA, even if it was a 4.0. Use your own discretion: a forty-year old would seem foolish noting that he served as president of his social fraternity, but a twenty-one-year-old with limited job experience should include such an accomplishment because it demonstrates leadership skills.
• Salary needs. Avoid including salary needs unless the advertisement you’re responding to specifically asks for them. In that case, include them in the cover letter. Your résumé is never the place to broach the subject of salary.

The Interview Top Five

Sometimes the amount of information thrown at you to prepare for an interview can literally be overwhelming. These top five job-interview manners are the cream of the crop. Pay attention to these five potential deal-breakers, and you will significantly increase your chances that you’ll get the job.
1. Don’t be late. Late means late, even if you’re just one minute late. Travel to the site of the interview the day before to be sure you know how long it takes to get there. Then add an extra ten to twenty minutes to your schedule as a margin for error.
2. Be prepared. Some interview questions you can anticipate, others you can’t. The best way to stay calm is to recognize what you can control and prepare for that. Be sure to read up on the company through sources like their annual report and website; know your résumé and professional strengths by heart; and practice answering potential questions—out loud.
3. Dress one notch up. Visit the company’s reception area to check out how people dress. If you can’t make a pre-interview visit, call and ask someone in human resources what the office dress code is. Then dress in a conservative version of what you would wear if your job level were one notch above the position you’re applying for. Remember, this isn’t the time for pink patterned hose or gold chains.
4. Smile, speak clearly, and look your interviewer in the eye. Engage the interviewer, and let your personality shine through. You are showing her that you will represent her company well, and that you are a confident, can-do person. Be sure to answer questions in a clear confident manner—but be careful not to come off as a know-it-all. Ask pertinent questions about the company and the key responsibilities of the position you’re applying for.
5. Thank them twice. The first thank-you comes at the end of the job interview, along with a firm handshake and a clear statement of your appreciation for the time to meet. Then, that night at home, word-process your second thank-you on executive or standard 8.5x11” paper. Recap strong points from the interview, answer any questions that may have arisen, and provide any extra info you may have promised. Finally, thank the interviewer, express your hope for a positive outcome—and proofread your letter before sending it.

Job Skills Versus People Skills

Being successful in your job or your job search hinges on two critical factors: your job skills and your people skills. Your job skills are the capabilities you bring to your work. If you’re searching for a job, it’s unlikely you’ll be invited for an interview if you don’t have the requisite job skills. The same goes if you’re up for a promotion, or if your company is up for a job or contract with another firm: The reason you are being considered for the promotion or your company is being considered for the work is the set of job skills and capabilities you or your company possesses.

Once you enter the room for an interview, however—whether as a job applicant, or a candidate for a promotion, or a salesperson—your personal skills are what will most likely get you the job. Your ability to connect with that person across the table more readily than any of the other candidates is critical to your potential success. In short, your job skills will get you in the door, but your people skills are what land you the assignment.

Asking for a Raise or Promotion

If ever a meeting needs to be conducted professionally, it is the salary or promotion discussion. Here are some tips on how to be as successful as possible in the meeting:

• More money means more responsibility. When you are seeking a promotion, be ready to tell the boss what you can bring to the job. Know what the new position entails and how you plan to manage it.
• Never, ever, bring up personal issues. The boss doesn’t care about your second mortgage, your kid’s orthodontia, or your grandmother’s nursing-home bills.
• Know what the market is for your skills. You may want to provide information about the general market standards for a person with your responsibilities. Be careful not to bring up other offers as a threatening or coercive tactic. If you do choose to mention an offer from another company or a headhunter, carefully present it as a means of helping the boss to evaluate your position relative to comparable companies. If you’re genuine in your representation, the boss will not be riled—and if he or she senses that you may be in demand elsewhere, so much the better.

How to Be an Expert at Small Talk

Some people seem to be expert talkers. They approach total strangers and are immediately able to be completely at ease and conversational. How do they do it? Here are six tips to help you be a great conversationalist:

1. Become familiar with various topics. Read up on local, national, and world events, including sports, entertainment, and the arts. Make it your assignment to be a generalist. That gives you a better chance of starting and continuing a conversation with a wide variety of people.
2. Ask people their opinions. Prepare three or four questions you can ask at the start of a conversation. Always couch these questions in terms of asking a person his or her opinion. People love to be asked what they think about any number of subjects.
3. Stay away from controversial topics. Politics, sex, and religion: Don’t go there. These are potential argument-starters that can backfire on you
4. Know about your host(s). If possible, learn their interests ahead of time. You can ask colleagues or you boss, or if the event is in your host’s home or office, take note of pictures and other objects for clues.
5. Listen. Listen. Listen. Become a great listener by learning to focus on the person who is talking and tune out other distractions around you.
6. Practice. Practice. Practice. Try talking to people who are “safe” conversational partners: cabdrivers, people at the supermarket checkout counter, the package delivery person. Being comfortable with these folks will help you to be comfortable with strangers at company functions, when the small talk may really matter.

Giving Business Gifts

Besides good taste, two things determine the appropriateness of a business gift: its cost and how personal it is. Cost is mostly an issue when giving to customers and clients, with the smell of bribery or favor-currying growing in direct proportion to expensiveness. Too-personal gifts are also out of place in business, including gifts between close colleagues that are exchanged at work. Consider carefully your relationship to the person to whom you’re giving and what he or she will think is appropriate. If you’re unsure, it’s always safer to err on the less personal side.

• Gifts that “show,” such as jewelry and clothing, are less appropriate than consumable or perishable items, such as food or flowers. (There are two schools of thought about jewelry: A gift of cuff links to a man or a pin to a woman may seem fine to some people, while others say even jewelry of this kind crosses the line.)
• Tickets to an event are appropriate, but airplane tickets are not.
• Gifts of perfume, roses, or lingerie have obvious romantic overtones and should never be given in a business environment.

Traveling with Your Boss

If you find yourself setting off on a business trip with the boss, keep two words in mind: respect and deference. No bowing and scraping is in order (nor should your boss expect it), but holding doors, seeing to it that she has the more comfortable seat, and letting her initiate a conversation show an unspoken understanding of your respective ranks. Unless our executive traveling companion insists on doing them herself, you should take charge of various tasks—hailing cabs, checking in at the hotel, making restaurant reservations, and tipping service people. Stay on your toes in all regards: Traveling with the boss gives you the opportunity not only to let her get to know you better but also for you to shine.