Kathy Seifert Celebrity Guru

Dr. Kathy Seifert is a psychotherapist, author, speaker, and researcher who specializes in family violence and trauma and has over 30 years experience in mental health, addictions, and criminal justice work. She is Founder and CEO of Eastern Shore Psychological Services, a private practice that focuses on serving children, adolescents, and at-risk youth and their families. Dr. Seifert's articles on violence, trauma, and risk have appeared in The Journal of Psychiatry and Law, Paradigm Magazine, Reaching Today’s Youth, Forensic Focus, Self-Help and Psychology Magazine, The Maryland Psychologist, and the Forensic Examiner. She is the author of CARE, a manual and assessment tool kit that allows mental health professionals to understand the risk of potential violence in youths, and Tools For Success, her training DVD on disrupted attachment patterns. To find out more about Dr. Seifert and to learn more about her upcoming book How Children Become Violent – Keeping your Kids out of Gangs, Terrorist Organizations, & Cults (Acanthus Publishing, Fall 2006), please visit her website .

Upcoming Events

Testimonial

Use this form to post feedback to this guru.

I have not yet had a chance to list by detailed project experience. Please check back soon.

Most writers at LifeTips—or Gurus we call them—are available for writing assignments, special projects, or interviews with the press. Please describe exactly what you’re looking for, and an Agent will get back to you within hours.

Name: Phone: Email: Project Description:
	If you have difficulty identifying the words, click the button.

Parents, Educate Yourselves

It is important for parents to educate themselves on the types of people and events that can bring harm to their children. This includes the school bully, the local sex offender, a violent neighbor, and the neighborhood drug dealer. Learn the subtle ways that these people deceive parents and children to gain their trust. Be wary of an adult who is very nice or helpful to you (the parent) so that he (or she) can spend excessive amounts of time with your child or children (especially if it is to the exclusion of adult activities and friends.) Do not hesitate to question that adult about why he or she does not have adult friends and activities. Return to this site often as we continue to add more tips for parents.

Teach Children that Danger May Come From Someone They Know.

Children can be confused because a neighbor, teacher, family member, etc. is supposed to be someone they can trust. Danger can sometimes come from someone they know or see every day. Tell a child, "when you are not sure about whether something a grown up is doing or is asking ytou to do is OK, ask another grown up to help you."

Plan a family day or afternoon at the park (beach, etc.) Sometime during the day, you can discuss lots of example of when children need to ask a grown up for help. Use many everyday examples like being lost in the mall or missed your bus. Then, make this discussion into a game. Take turns acting out examples. Children love role playing. It is the best way for children to learn.

Teach Children Skills

It is a complex world we live in. While you do not want to unduely scare children, you want them to be aware of dangers to avoid. Here's the tricky part. You teach them to obey adults. Then an adult friend, neighbor, or relative comes along and tells them to do something inappropriate. They don't know if it is inappropriate or not. How do they distinguish when it is OK to say no to an adult and when it is not? Open discussions about this with examples is a must.

If You Discover That Your Child May Have Been Abused

If parents discover that their children have been abused, they need to do two things:

1. Contact the police or department of social services in the county where they live. They will investigate the alleged abuse and it will help relieve your guilt to know that you are doing something pro-active in an effort to protect your family.

2. Get counseling for their children and their family to help them cope with what has happened. Children need a lot of support when they have been abused. They need to know that what has happened is not their fault and that they will heal from it in time.

When Does My Child Need Therapy?

You should consider therapy if: your child is unhappy, anxious, hyperactive, inattentive, afraid, forgetful, aggressive, or acting in an unusual way.

First, talk to your child. Ask them, "Is there anything wrong? How can I help?" Often just creating a dialogue with a child will allow them to unload some of the issues that are causing them to act this way. Also, by establishing yourself as a source they can come and talk to when they are having problems, your child will feel more secure and protected.

However, if the problem continues for more than a month and it does not resolve itself, you may need to seek a professional assessment to see what is needed. If your child has been abused and symptoms continue for more than a month, have him/her evaluated to see if they need therapy. It can never hurt and can always be helpful.

Do You Know Where Your Children Are, and Who They Are With?

Get involved in your children’s social lives. Help to chaperone school, community, and church activities for youth. There should always be more than one adult with any group of children. Monitor where your children are and what they are doing. Also, cell phone companies have come out with multiple limited use cell phones. If you don’t like the idea of your child having their own cell phone, these are a good option. Make it a rule that the children can only call mom and dad and then make them call you whenever they go out to let you know where they are.

In addition, adults should confront any suspicious activity of another adult. Don’t just let it slide. It’s difficult, but these things need to be discussed openly. Secrecy and difficulty talking about these topics are a predator’s best friends.

Form an Organized Children's Watch

An organization of neighborhood parents can agree to look after each other's children, whether they are in the park or someone's back yard. Make sure everyone knows what each child looks like and what their names are. Make a book with pictures, names, birthdates, addresses and phone numbers, in case one gets lost. Have a picnic for everyone in the parent organization to get to know each other. Exchange phone numbers. Be on the look out for strange cars or people in the neighborhood. Work with your local Police Department to know when to report suspicious activity and when not to report it.

Talk To Your Children

Talk to your children every day. This is not an inquisition, just a casual conversation. "What did you do today? What did you enjoy or not enjoy? Do you have new friends?" You can talk while setting the table for dinner or other family activities. Tell them about your day to encourage them to share. Keep talking!!

Eliminate Child Abuse in the World

While not all abused children become abusers, people who harm children were often abused, neglected, or exposed to pornography or violence as a chld. The more we do to support institutions and organizations that are fighting child maltreatment, the more we are doing to stop the ongoing cyle of abused people becoming abusers.

The National Prevent Child Abuse Organization has many local chapters. Get involved or support them with donations.

When there is child protection legislation pending, let your voice be heard through letters and phone calls to your delegates, senators, or represenatives.

Support Research and Treatment

Incarceration keeps people who harm children off the streets, but it does not change their behavior and eventually they are released. Research is needed to understand why adults mistreat children and how to stop it. Not all offenders will re-offend. Risk assessments determine who is dangerous to be on the streets and who is not. Insist that local law enforcement or parole and probation use the latest tools to monitor previous sex offenders and keep our children safe. The local law enforcement should be aware of the treatment that is available. Often, that can be effective in stopping some people from abusing children in the future. Urge your community to petition authorities to make treatment mandatory for those who hurt children, whether they are incarcerated or in the community.