Reducing the Effects of Exposure to Domestic Violence
Reducing Exposure to Violence. As a society, we are much better at protecting partners from a violent significant other today than 30 years ago. We must now move ahead and protect children from the devastating effects of exposure to domestic violence (DV). DV traumatizes young people and sends them the wrong message about how to engage in interpersonal relationships. Every DV case that comes to the Courts should have a caseworker assigned to assess the well-being of the children in the family.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Reduce Exposure to Media Violence
Excessive use of violent games and movies desensitizes our most vulnerable youth to the horror of violence, making it easier to commit violence. We should limit youth exposure to violent media just a surely as we limit their access to alcohol and tobacco.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Neighborhood Watches
Community efforts to reduce neighborhood violence, such as neighborhood watch, can be very effective, as well. When I was a child, mrs. jones down the street knew what i was doing as quickly as my mother did and all of our mothers talked to each other to keep the neighborhood safe. We need to recreate a version of that today.
Tip Source: drkathy2
School Success
We all need to experience success. A youth's main job is school and he needs to feel successful there. Programs such as Positive Behavioral Incentive System (PBIS), school based mental health, involvement in positive school activities, IEP's, and additional services for learning problems have proven that they can improve many children and teens feelings of accomplishment in school, thus reducing the likelihood that school frustration can contribute to future acts of violence by students.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Skill Building
Many "at risk" youth need help to build the coping skills they need to resist the "pull" of gangs and engage in healthy activities. (When is the last time you engaged in healthy exercise or eating without encouragement?) Youth need mentors that will help them with problem solving, anger management and dealing with the neighborhood bully. Many of us can take 5 or 6 hours out of our week to include a youth in our activities. Additionally, there are many CBT skill building programs that can be used after and during school to teach skills and values and respect for others.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Trauma Therapy
Many youth who are at risk for violent behaviors have been traumatized at some time in their lives. They repeat the trauma they have experienced, sometimes violently, until they resolve it emotionally and cognitively. This can be done more effectively in therapy without the risk that a youth will act out his aggression on others.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Put Your Best Foot Forward
In order to be successful, youth need to feel competent and confident. They need to hear praise for what they do well every day. What you pay attention to, will increase. Catch them being good and praise them to the rooftops. Show the goal, the way to go, and praise every step in the right direction. Youth can change their behavior, but they need encouragement to do so.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Family Supports
Most parents want to be good parents. However, some lack skills and strengths they need to be effective parents. Some are willing to learn new skills, give up addictions, get treatment for a mental illness, get treatment for anger management or domestic violence, go to parenting classes, or enter family therapy for the sake of their children. When parents are willing to do these things, service agencies must provide the supports necessary for them to be successful.
Tip Source: drkathy2
Reduce Bullying
Schools need to have a zero tolerance for bullying. They should to be teaching respect instead of accepting bullying as a normal thing kids do. There are anti-bullying programs that can be used school-wide. Programs like Olweus, "Character Counts," and "Don't Laugh at Me" have materials that can be used throughout a school to build an atmosphere of respect for others.
Tip Source: drkathy2
7 Signs a Youth is at Risk for Violent Behavior and Needs Professional Services
Based on recent studies, other scientific data, and 30 years of experience, there are 7 questions to help you determine if your teenager may be at risk of committing violent or aggressive behavior. The more questions to which you answer yes, the more likely it is that your child needs professional help. If the answer to 6 or 7 questions is “yes”, then data shows that your teenager may be at risk of aggressive or violent behavior and needs immediate professional attention.
1. Has your child or teen witnessed or been a victim of violence?
2. Has the child in your care been abused, neglected or abandoned by a family member?
3. Has your child been cruel to animals?
4. Has your child had moderate to severe behavior problems (such as stealing, punching holes in walls, or staying out all night without permission) that began before the age of 13?
5. When your child hurts or injures someone does he feel sorry he/she got caught, rather than sorry for the harm caused to his/her victim.
6. In the past, has your child assaulted another person that was not in self-defense? (This is particularly important if it was a younger, weaker child or a parent, policeman, or teacher.)
7. Has you child had severe learning and/or behavior problems in school for more than a year?
Although these questions can be easily answered, their answers should not be taken lightly. Adults and caregivers need to take immediate action to seek help for families and teens that have experienced traumatic experiences.
Tip Source: drkathy2
What you can do if you know a family that is experiencing violence
If you are a teacher, minister, friend of a family member experiencing family violence, provide support and alloww yourself to be a sounding board. Talk to the family about getting help. If someone has been injured or if there are children in the home, report it to the police or social services.
Tip Source: drkathy2
What can children in homes with domestic violence do?
If you are a youth living in a family with domestic violence, call social services or the police for help, or tell a teacher what’s going on.
Tip Source: drkathy2
If you are living with a violent spouse and you have children:
Get therapy for you and your children. Domestic violence harms your children. It teaches them that violence is a valid way to cope with problems. Children repeat what they see at home when they have their own homes. Help them stop the cycle of violence generation after generation.
Tip Source: drkathy2
If your family is involved in Domestic violence:
Create family safety plans. Plan how to get out of the house if you have to. Plan where you will go. Know how to get to your local shelter. Have a way to get money and transportation. Talk to a family member that might help and talk to that person. Try to get your spouse to agree to family therapy. Get support so you can leave if you cannot convince your spouse to get help.
Tip Source: drkathy2
