Self help: helping yourself to success rather than helping yourself to seconds

If you believe it’s possible to make your dreams come true, but don’t act on it, there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be.

That gap is comprised of your attitudes and beliefs. The bigger the negative beliefs, the wider the gap. Perhaps the voice of your doubter has gotten louder than the voice of your dreamer.

Attitudes and beliefs are never neutral. They either move you forward or hold you back. If your dream is to lose weight but you believe it’s too hard of an undertaking and you’ll almost certainly fail, then you’ll probably never even attempt it.

But the same dream with a belief such as “I can do this” or “I believe in my dream,” will take you to thoughts and feelings of excitement and hope, and ultimately to the choice to go for it.

There’s a different kind of energy, and much more joy, when you are moving toward your dreams than when you are mired in reality or just trying to fix something. So rather than saying “I don’t want to be overweight” tell yourself “I want to be healthy.” That subtle shift can be the difference between success and failure.

Reality does have a place in self help though. Reality can keep you from setting unattainable goals.

When reality seeps into your thoughts and prevents you from setting lofty goals that aren’t possible at the moment, it keeps you from failing and becoming depressed by your failures. For example, saying you’re going to lose 75 pounds sounds impossible. But saying you’re going to lose 5 lbs this month? And 5 lbs next month? Totally doable.

So in this sense reality steers you to set short-term attainable goals, allowing you to enjoy the confidence that comes with reaching these realistic goals and encourage you to go for the bigger ones.

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