Category Archives: Relationship Advice

Your official motivation invitation: Dear you, your life is waiting! RSVP ASAP

How can you motivate yourself to achieve your dream? Well, you’re not going to live forever. That’s motivation!

If you had eternity to accomplish your goals, you wouldn’t feel the need to push yourself, to chase your dreams. So consider your impending doom a gift, and seize the day.

The majority of people with goals don’t apply the action needed to bring them to fruition. Their ambitions and hopes stay locked up in their minds, like Rapunzel in her tower, waiting for someone to let them out.

Be your own knight in shining armor. Let your ambitions out.

Setting goals can inspire motivation. Once you actually set a goal, you’ll feel an immediate obligation to achieve that goal. This motivation pushes you to succeed.

Still feel stuck?

Daily words of encouragement will help. Whether you’re reading motivational quotes, inspirational stories, or just getting motivational sayings from loved ones, a little encouragement can change the way you look at life.

Some people also benefit from mentors as a motivational resource. A mentor teaches you the ropes of a given career or even a way of life. Mentors provide advice, information, encouragement and above all accountability.

If you won’t be accountable to yourself, get a mentor.

Fear is a gift that indicates you are closer to your dream

Fear is a measurement tool. Fear means you’re leaving the old reality behind. Fear is a gift that indicates you are closer to your dream. Fear is a healthy, natural mechanism, a sign of vitality and that you are in process.

Unless you learn to use fear as empowerment, it can also stop your progress.

Don’t say, “I’m afraid.”

Be more specific. What exactly is scaring you? The more clarity you have, the easier it will be to get the support you need to move through your fear. Understanding your fears is the key to conquering them.

The number one way to sabotage your dream is by projecting your fears, doubts and concerns into it. Fear and doubt do not belong in your dream. Fear is part of your reality.

Deal with fear by clarifying it, designing a strategy for managing it and by asking for help and support.

Use these daily check-ins:

Are you more committed to your dream or to your reality?

Do you believe in your positive beliefs or your old limiting beliefs?

The answer is in the action you take. Every day do at least one thing to move your dream forward. Success is guaranteed!

Life is like a video game- you can’t reach the next level until you’re done with the one holding you back

If you really want to turn your life in a different direction, you need to assess what is really going on in your career, relationships and family.

The purpose driven life revolves around the powerful process of exploring what’s been left unsaid, undone or incomplete in your life. To be driven, you must remove the challenges that are encumbering your success.

This process is really one of the most awesome things you can do to free yourself and give yourself access to your dreams.

Completing what is undone–whether it concerns family, friends, work, your body, mind or soul–may be the most profound thing you have ever done.

Where do I begin?

Take these steps to begin living a purpose driven life.

1. Scrutinize your life and your life purpose.
2. Explore your body, mind, home, work, finance, and people (living and dead).
3. Write down what you feel incomplete about with anyone or anything and what you need to do to complete it.
4. Complete as many items as possible.
5. Write a letter or make a phone call.
6. Forgive someone or just declare “it’s over.”

You might need to create a project plan. Create measurable goals and try to stick to your plan. You will find yourself feeling better and lighter every day!

The Pursuit of Love

When I was 12 years old, I was walking with my two best friends and a boy on a bicycle waved to me as he rode by. I waved back, not having the slightest clue who he was. My girl friends asked me if I knew him.  I did not.

Several months later, I was at my neighbor’s sweet sixteen celebration and that same boy walked in. My life changed at that moment. That evening we talked, flirted, and he charmed me with his smile. We slow danced together and from that day on the smell of Drakar Noir left an imprint on my soul.

From a wave hello, to the warmth of our slow dance, and the way his eyes smiled – I found myself in a new place. I fell in love. Yes, I was 12 years old, young, open, and naïve to it all. We spent some time together, and I called him one day. The answering machine picked up and his familiar voice said, “I’m not home right now, please leave a message. If this is Maria, I miss you”.

There it was, my first heartbreak. I thought we were in a relationship. I thought he felt the same way about me. Somehow, in my mind I thought he was the “one”.

Looking back now, I can’t even comprehend how at 12 years old I even thought of such a thing. I grew up, dated, and found myself in several different relationships. That little girl turned into a young woman. I fell in love again, experienced more heartache, and caused some heartache myself.

As the years flew by, many of my closest friends got married, and the boy from my youth came in and out of my life. Each time he did, I opened up my heart in hopes of a relationship. It never came.

In pursuit of love, I’ve attracted many different types of men. Somehow, it never worked out with the ones I fell for the hardest or the ones I wanted to be with the most. Somehow these men always led to a broken heart.

My last serious relationship was with an extraordinary man from Paris. A charmer, handsome, well-spoken, creative, passionate, adventurous, generous, compassionate, ambitious, worldly, kind, and the list goes on and on. He was the photographer at my girlfriend’s wedding in Paris. This became an unforgettable story in an unforgettable city.
It was clear from the first moment that he approached me that there was chemistry between us. We went from flirting to long distance courtship, spending hours talking on the phone and having a 21st century online romance.

I didn’t expect it to go anywhere, as he lived in Paris and I lived in Toronto. As time passed, we met in different places around the world. We travelled and shared time together and created beautiful memories. Yet through it all, there was an underlying current of pain tugging at my heart.

The last time we saw each other in New York City, I was ready to take the leap, ready to move to Paris, to leave the comfort of my life and give our love a chance. He was scared. Scared to take on the responsibility, scared that he wouldn’t be able to support me financially while I settled in, scared for many reasons. When we said goodbye, deep down I knew it was truly goodbye. The pain of it was all too familiar. I was willing to go the extra mile and he wasn’t.

I felt like the heartbroken 12-year-old little girl again, and realized that part of her was still with me. You see, what I didn’t realize was that the 12-year-old girl, from her first experience with love, began to think she wasn’t good enough. That message on the answering machine led me to believe that I simply wasn’t worthy of love.

That belief became so deeply embedded in my consciousness that I kept on creating relationships in my adult life that didn’t stand a chance – with men who were emotionally unavailable, men who ended up lying and cheating, and men who simply lived on the other side of the globe and weren’t willing to put in the effort.

That experience caused me to believe I wasn’t good enough, and it stayed with me through my achievements and successes- until just a few years ago, a few decades later.

We have so many definitive moments in life that affect us in ways we don’t even realize. We hunger to make a change and to have different outcomes, but when our desires don’t manifest we wonder what happened.

The pursuit of love is challenging. There are many obstacles that we need to overcome to find the one, yet most of these obstacles exist within our minds.

Most of us have little awareness of the thoughts we think because they exist at a subconscious level. Until we bring those unconscious thoughts and beliefs to the surface, we will continue to get the results we’ve always been getting.

What’s crucial is finding a way to identify the thoughts and beliefs preventing you from having the relationship that you really, truly, and deeply want.

That’s what we at Frame of Mind Coaching do with our coaching clients.

Still single and looking for the one? Wondering why? Then you must be willing to take the leap to discover what really gets in your way.

Contributed by Life, Relationship and Spirituality coach, Adi Tamam

Obstacles + Clutter = Obstaclutter

Do you suffer from obstaclutter?

Overcoming obstacles involves identifying what’s in your way. Take an inventory and see if there’s something that is keeping you from feeling free, abundant and successful.

Unspoken words, unfinished projects and conversations, or skeletons in our closets can draw us away from what’s important. Complete what’s incomplete and, if necessary, quit something.

One of the single most important steps to realizing a dream is to clear the clutter and make room for new dreams. Say no to something that no longer fulfills you or makes you happy.

“If you try and don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no use being a damn fool about it.” – W. C. Fields

Obstacles such as doubt and fear can keep you from trying to realize your dreams. These obstacles stand in your way whether you realize that they are there or not. That is why a self evaluation is so important.

Overcoming obstacles is easier if you simplify them and design a strategy to manage them. We often think road blocks are bigger than they are which can lead to the demise of our dreams. Identify what the obstacle is, learn to make specific requests for help and be creative.

Once you have identified the obstacle, you can formulate a strategy to conquer the obstacle.

Another way to overcome obstacles is to take a risk and step outside your comfort zone. Look at your obstacle with a clean eye and tackle it by doing something you have never done before or do it differently.

If there was a Super Bowl for awesomeness, Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll just won

“Don’t you open your mouth about the best or I’m gonna shut it for you real quick.”

These now infamous words spoken by Richard Sherman after winning the game that sent the Seattle Seahawks to the Super Bowl were spoken at precisely the wrong time. Live, on camera, to Erin Andrews.

Should we excuse him?

Yes and no. It is that very intensity, passion and emotion that make him the player he is on the field. Unfortunately he unleashed it off the field.

What did his coach, Pete Carroll have to say about this in his interview with ESPN?

“It’s unfortunate that it was so crazed, but that’s who he is. His mental makeup to get ready for that matchup was expressed right there so he could play the way he can play. Unfortunately, sharing with the world, it didn’t come across so well.”

Defense, protection and forgiveness. Being a coach is about more than getting the best out of your players and clients- it’s about understanding who each one of them is.

It’s about understanding how their very strengths can be weaknesses if used incorrectly. But even our mistakes can lead to opportunities. According to Carroll:

“How we handle it is we try to grow and learn and work our way through who we are and figure out who we want to be. This was an extraordinary learning opportunity. You’ll see some benefit from it.”

Carroll managed to coach a Super Bowl team by infusing a lot of common sense and optimism into his tactical leadership. He looks at his team as a family. In reaction to how he felt about Sherman’s outburst he replied:

“When you really love somebody and care for them, you do everything you can help them be everything they can be. At times they are going to make mistakes and break your heart, but if you love them, you stay with them. You give [them] the best chance to be all they can be.”

He then added:

“Richard is a wonderful spirit. He’s got an amazing heart, and he has great sensitivity. He goes all the way to the end of the spectrum when it comes to expressing himself.”

Carroll’s coaching technique is one that can be applied to all relationships. One of forgiveness, understanding and hard work.

So while the media frenzy focuses on Sherman’s aggressiveness, I think the truly remarkable story is about Carroll’s perspective, coaching genius and level headed coolness.

Seahawks fan or not, there’s a coach we can all look up to.

Don’t yell at your kids. Lean in real close and whisper, its much scarier

And if that still doesn’t work you can threaten to mail them somewhere. And you could have made good on that threat up until June 13, 1920.

When parcel post first became available to Americans in 1913, we loved everything about it. Sending and receiving packages through the mail took the country by storm. We shipped and received live chickens, tobacco, and other items affordably and reliably. However, in some cases, children fell into the category of other items.

While it was frowned upon, families who did not wish to pay the price of a train ticket could ship their tyke to their grandparents house, for example, for the cost of shipping a chicken- about 53 cents for a 50lb bird.

In one instance, in Indiana, a postal carrier picked up a box that read “Live Infant” and was addressed to the baby’s father, who was divorced from it’s mother and lived across the state. Postage? 17 cents. Expression on the father’s face when he opened the box? Priceless.

child-by-mail (1)Source

This practice continued throughout the early twentieth century until the United States Post Office declared it would no longer accept children in the mail.

lifetips logo postage